English Radio Program

25 July 2008

RAISING G-RATED KIDS IN AN X-RATED WORLD

The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him. Proverbs 20:7

Can you raise G-rated kids in an X-rated world? You bet you can, but it isn't easy. It's the challenge of the century, and certainly the challenge of your life. The following are five guidelines which can help you accomplish your goal.

Guideline #1: Set the example. Parenting is the raising of children by parents, not the raising of parents by their kids. God made you the mommy or daddy, so assume your responsibility. You gave birth to a child. Now instill in that child integrity and character, the kind that produces a g-rated kid in an X-rated world, a world filled with moral and spiritual pollution.

If you are an R- or an X-rated parent, don't expect yours to be G-rated kids. You set the example. They learn from you. Never deceive yourself by telling you kids, “Don't do as I do; do as I say.” Save your breath. What you do, they will do, but they will go one step beyond you—always.

Guideline #2: Help your child be his or her own person. One of the greatest things a parent can do for a child is to help him throw off the “cookie cutter,” be-just-like- everyone-else, mentality which is so prevalent today. This requires your putting a certain amount of space between your kids and the world whose values are far from G-rated. It means you help your offspring to understand, “I don't have to be just like everybody else. It's OK to be me and to be different.” Sure, your kids are going to hear and see a lot of junk outside your home, but having a standard at home says clearly, “We don't approve of that stuff, and we won't allow it in our home. We love you too much to let you warp your character with junk.”

Guideline #3: Build character through the moral feeding and nurturing of your children. I can tell you a thousand places where your children will not build character, including most movies, TV, and the lyrics of a lot of contemporary music, so you have got to concentrate on feeding the moral and spiritual nature of your child. This means Sunday School and Church, youth activities, events and activities that are family-centered. Sure, this inconveniences you as an adult. You've got to shut off the TV and pack the van and think about where you are going and what you are going to do. It means you monitor what comes into your home and what goes into the minds of your kids. This includes not only what you put on the table but the music that goes into the iPod you teen listens to. A policeman? No, a parent who needs to remember a line which puts an end to the question, “Why not?” It's, “I'm the mommy, that's why!” or “I'm the daddy, that's why!”

Guideline #4: Reinforce character with a positive peer group. This means making it easy for your kids to be with others whose values are the same as yours, and difficult to be with other kids who are being raised in a permissive environment without convictions. When you fail to make some decisions, by default you lose your position to leverage your influence for good and God.

Guideline #5: Empower your child with validation. The most important thing in the life of a youngster isn't really, “What do my peers think of me?” in spite of the fact that we've bought into that mentality and touted it for a generation. The truth is that parental approval, hearing a dad say, “I'm really proud of you,” or a mom say, “Sweetheart, you really handled that situation well. I couldn't have done better myself,” is the most meaningful validation in your kids' lives.

You can raise G-rated kids in an X-rated world with God's help and a lot of dogged persistence. It's worth it. It's the one thing that will count and make a difference in tomorrow's world.

Resource reading : Colossians 3.