Bible Text: Luke 23:34 | Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living | Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. Luke 23:34

Bitterness, according to medical doctor S. I. McMillan, is a killer; but it is not the person who gets the venom of that negative emotion who is hurt the most. Rather it is the person in whose heart the bitterness is generated. When you repress your emotions, your stomach keeps score, and you’re the loser. Whether or not you have the right to be bitter and hurt is not the issue. The fact still exists that pent-up emotions gnaw like a cancer of your soul.

Revenge does not eliminate the hurt, but forgiveness does. Yet, forgiveness never comes easy. Take for instance the woman who wrote, “I heard your talk on forgiveness, and you said that forgiveness is treating the person as if something had not happened. How about this? My son was brutally killed in a group home. I easily forgave the boy who did it–he was not responsible; but the officials who were supervising the home were negligent. I can’t very well drop it as though it had not happened….”

Here was a situation where those who were responsible allowed alcohol to be used in a home for troubled young men, and the resulting altercation cost the life of her son. When an official neglects civic or moral duty, personal forgiveness does not eliminate the obligation that exists under the law to society, yet personal hatred and bitterness begins to choke the very life of the soul. That mother asked, “So how do we show forgiveness to those who do evil?” How do you learn forgiveness? Jesus, of course, gave us a model when He prayed for His executioners on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do….” “Father, forgive them”–“Yes, you say, but I’m not Jesus. Maybe He could; but I cannot.” Months before, Jesus had taught the disciples to pray, “Forgive us our debts” (our trespasses, as some versions put it). “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” The disciples, like many of us, had been raised on a different brand of theology–the kind that loves those who love them and treats the enemies in the same manner they are treated. Jesus advocated not only forgiving enemies but actually loving them. No wonder the disciples were disturbed. As soon as He finished sharing the Lord’s Prayer with them, Jesus began talking about forgiveness. “If you don’t forgive men their trespasses,” He said, “neither will your Father in heaven forgive you of your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15).

Here are several guidelines that will help you eliminate bitterness and learn to forgive. Guideline #1: Realize that when you forgive you are following the example of Jesus Christ, who forgave even His executioners. Guideline #2: Forgiveness is a necessity in light of God’s forgiveness. “Forgive one another,” wrote Paul in Ephesians 4:32, “even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Guideline #3: Forgiveness is a matter of your will first, then your emotions. You mentally decide to forgive before your heart will respond. Forgiveness is more than a feeling; it is also a conscious decision of your will. Guideline #4: God will help you learn to forgive if you will seek His help.

Those who question God’s willingness to relate to our problems day by day are those who have never sought His help. Accept the fact that your Heavenly Father is far more willing to help you do right than even you are to seek His help. The two most difficult words to utter in any language are the humble words, “Forgive me; I’m sorry.” Forgiveness is an alternative to the devastation of bitterness. It is the only real solution.

Resource reading: Luke 23