The Most Important Part of Parenting

Preacher:
Date: June 27, 2016

Bible Text: Genesis 18:19 | Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living | For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him. Genesis 18:19

When you bring a little bundle home from the hospital as a new parent, you have no idea of the ride that you are about to take. Once you are a parent, it’s apparent that you are a parent from this point on. Period! Your life has forever changed. I often look into the face of an angelic, sleeping baby and think, “Who knows what great potential is in this child? Possibly he’s going to be a great leader, a scientist, a pastor or educator,” or–and I sometimes do think this–“Here lies a potential tyrant who will run the household and make life miserable for the two parents.” Who knows?

No parent ever chooses the generation in which he lives or the conditions of the world into which he brings a child. Babies are born in times of conflict as well as times of peace. When someone tells me, “The world is so bad that we’re afraid of having a child,” I often respond that while it’s true that we are challenged by our culture and the chaos of life today, not having a child or adopting a child if you can’t have one of your own, deprives you of one of the greatest experiences in all of life–that of being a parent.

Following the release of my book Raising Godly Kids–52 Guidelines for Counter Cultural Parenting I did a series of radio interviews that were usually followed by questions from the listeners. Most of the questions focused on an issue which is hard to define, about like nailing Jello to the wall. It concerns the distance we keep from our world and the ideologies that are contrary to Christian values.

Where do you draw the line especially when some parents give their kids a lot more slack than you do? Is it better to come down on the side of caution than the side of permissiveness? At some point you as a parent have to draw a line and say, “No! We don’t do that.”

There are some issues that are non-negotiable. As a parent you expect the truth–honest, straightforward answers. When you ask your youngster to come straight home from school, not stopping over at a friend’s, you expect compliance–call it obedience if you prefer. When you tell a teenager it’s OK to go to a party provided there is no alcohol, you expect him to find out what kind of entertainment there is going to be. But from the time a youngster turns 13 or 14 he can do about anything he pleases and you will not know about it. So at some point if you haven’t won the battle for their minds, you’ve lost the cause.

When a youngster is tiny, it’s easy to say, “Do this,” or “Don’t do that,” but the time eventually comes when that doesn’t work the same way. What makes the difference? In a word, it is relationships! And a relationship cannot be built apart from time together, trust, communication, and involvement. Building relationships is the great work of parenting, well beyond providing for your children, giving them music lessons, and providing braces for their teeth and school books for their studies.

It is living in the same world, praying together, spending time together, talking together, and walking together, refusing to stumble on the bumps that are on the path.

There is always a tension between a Christian home and the culture and values of the world, between what others do and what you feel God wants you to do. That’s to be expected. But when your relationships are strong, and your faith in God becomes self-motivating for your teenager, you’re going to survive those teen years and eventually see your kids marry and raise godly kids as well. That’s the only way to go.

Resource reading: Proverbs 13

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