Bible Text: Luke 23:34 | Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living |

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

“Sorry!” Ever hear someone say that? What you wanted to hear was something less flippant, more sincere, more meaningful. But all you got was, “Sorry!” One word which may have stung more than it helped. What you really wanted to hear was, “Please forgive me for the terrible wrong I did. I am deeply troubled by what I’ve done and want you to know, so help me God, that I will never, never do this again! Please forgive me.”

When wrongdoing has taken place, there are two parts to the healing process. Obviously, the first is serious, meaningful confession of wrongdoing, asking the person you have hurt to forgive you. Then Part Two is the response of the one who has been hurt. Both are necessary to real healing, yet whether or not the person who did wrong comes through with what you would like to hear, you–yes, you the victim–can rid yourself of the terrible burden of hatred and the desire for revenge through forgiveness.

Part of the difficulty is two-fold: First, to forgive runs counter to our old nature. We don’t like to forgive; we prefer to make our enemies suffer, to grovel in the dust, to feel something of the pain that we felt. There’s something else that makes it hard. We tend to think that to forgive some is saying, “What you did to me is OK!” Both are wrong.

To forgive someone doesn’t mean that you are saying, “What you did is OK.” Rather it means you take the wrong you have suffered along with the consequences and say, “God, I yield this to you. Hatred is too heavy a load, and revenge is too exacting for me to bear. I put this whole thing in your hands, remembering that you said, ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay,’ so, God, here it is. You take it.”

But I hasten to say that much like marriage, which is both an act and a process, forgiveness is both an act or decision of the will and an ongoing process which has to be repeated—sometimes many times.

In her book Tramp For the Lord Corrie ten Boom, a self-effacing Dutch woman who was a venerable saint, tells about meeting one of the prison guards from Ravensbruk Concentration Camp after the war, and when she saw this man coming down the aisle of a church, wanting to shake hands with her, hatred rose in her heart. Telling of how she quickly prayed for forgiveness, she adds that forgiveness is an act of the will and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. She is saying that you make the decision to forgive, then your emotions follow. Of course you don’t feel like forgiving! Nobody does. But forgive you must, if you want healing.

As long as you refuse to forgive, your soul bears wounds that fester and the infection only spreads. Hatred and the desire for revenge are poisons which literally can kill you.

The ongoing process of forgiveness takes time. It’s the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit in your life as Jesus works His life through yours. How does this play out? You will see something, hear something, remember something, smell something; and when you do, the hatred and the emotions of the wrong will rise like a dark cloud over you. You will see your spirit cloud and your joy will dissipate, and that’s when you say, “Lord, I forgive this person. I put this in your hands and I don’t want it back.” It’s also when you have to tell Satan to stop bugging you with the memory and praise God that He brings healing and hope for tomorrow.

Resource reading: Luke 23