Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14
If an acclaimed social scientist could tell you four simple things to do to make your marriage flourish, would you be interested?
The Bible uses the words “perfect harmony” to describe the goal for human relationships. It says, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14). But “clothing ourselves with love” isn’t about grand romantic gestures or rehashing relationship problems. Dr. Arthur Brooks says that working on a marriage isn’t about solving problems but about rebuilding connection—putting on love through small habits that build connection.
Here are four practices to consider:
First, have more fun together! Likening problems every marriage has to dirt in a glass, having fun together fills the glass with fresh water, washing that dirt right out of the glass. Second, pray together. Brooks explains that prayer bonds a couple’s right hemispheres of their brains together—the part of our brains where we process emotions, meaning and wholeness. Third, make lots of eye contact whenever you talk. Brooks tells men if you look into your wife’s eyes during an argument, she won’t remember why she’s so mad at you! Brooks says, eye contact releases the bonding hormone called oxytocin, especially in women. “She will love you more with five minutes of eye contact a day,” Brooks claims. Fourth, is ABT, or “always be touching.” Walking together arm in arm, in church together, sitting on the couch—you’re touching one another.[1]
The Bible says that it’s God Who “fill[s] our hearts with his love” (Romans 5:5). He help us “put on love for one another.” So, which of the four practices will you try out today?
[1] Instagram. Reel by @healthylovelab, “Harvard Professor: 4 Habits That Fix Every Marriage.” Instagram video. https://www.instagram.com/reels/DS5KL1PiAFI/ (accessed January 2, 2026).
