Breaching Walls of Pain Through Loving Listening

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

The walls began to go up in childhood. Every hurt was carefully tucked behind those walls and by age 45, Jon was a bitter man.

Painful experiences cause us to protect ourselves. Jon’s mother left him with his grandparents when he was seven. She wasn’t sure who his father had been. He protected himself by cementing around his heart. He built in self-defense, but the walls not only kept hurtful people out, they blocked meaningful relationship. They kept him from connecting with God and from being who he was created to be. The pain those walls were meant to contain also blocked the transformative truth of God’s words.

The human hurt cycle is a reality. Your greatest hurts were likely caused by another person because hurt people…hurt other people. But God interrupts that cycle using people like you. He can use you to help dismantle that wall and open hearts up to His love and healing. He can use you to pour His love into even tiny cracks. The Bible encourages us, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

You can help someone who is hurting bring their pain to the light of day by asking just three questions, and listening, without offering judgment or solutions. In a quiet, private place, simply ask:

• What happened?
• How did you feel?
• What was the hardest part for you?[1]

The Bible tells that “God longs to “give light to those who sit [behind walls] in darkness and in the shadow of death…. He longs to guide us to the path of peace” (Luke 1:79 excerpted). He uses people like you and me as conduits of His love and healing when we’re willing to take the time to listen.

[1] “Bible-Based Resources.” Trauma Healing Institute, traumahealinginstitute.org/bible-based-resources. Accessed 11 June 2024.