“Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
He died in the fifth century, and by the time of his death Simeon the Elder had become a legend with the handle, “St. Simeon Stylites.” You see Simeon wanted to live a very holy life without all the distractions and the hassles of family living—you know, nagging wife, quarreling kids, dogs and cats fighting—and thus, legend has it, St. Simeon began searching for a quiet place where his meditations and prayers would not be interrupted. He searched for a mountain top, but not finding anything suitable, St. Simeon determined that he could be closer to God atop a pillar.
Tradition says that a variety of pillars served him during the rest of his life. Some were but 3 feet, others were as tall as 60 feet. Some say he spent the rest of his life atop the pillar, others say he came down for brief periods. It’s generally agreed that people brought him food and came to him for advice and prayer.
Many years later, Anatole France read of Simeon’s righteous feat and decided to do the same thing, but not finding any pillars upon which to perch, he decided to improvise, thus placing a kitchen chair atop the kitchen table. But his experiment in righteous living just didn’t work because his “not so righteous” wife didn’t much like having his hulk on the table. The cook and the housekeeper both complained, and thus Anatole wrote these words in his diary, “I soon perceived it is no easy thing to be a saint while living with your own family.”
Had he been alive today, he might have written, “How can you soar with the eagles when you live with a bunch of turkeys?”
Family living at its best is never easy. Personalities at times don’t mesh. His kids and her kids bring out the worst in each other. Sometimes cultures clash. Habits and patterns of doing things cause friction, and, alas, we often search for a pillar upon which we can perch away from the hassle of family living.
What’s the secret? Escaping to a convent or monastery? Giving up on the whole business of striving to please God? Or is there a way, a means of coping, which allows us to put up with each other even when we don’t love some of the things the other does?
First—note that the family is God’s plan for living. It wasn’t an appendage which the Creator tacked onto the creation model, nor was it something that sociologists or government officials thought up. It was and is His plan for meeting our deep needs, for the teaching and training of our children, and for us to learn something of the grace of God in meeting our needs.
Second—realize that God would have had a cruel sense of humor bringing people together in families apart from the understanding that conflicts within families can be resolved. Under-utilized are powerful tools to help such as (1) Effective communication; (2) Learning to pray together; (3) Family counsels where grievances are aired; (4) Learning how to forgive and to bury grievances which can destroy families (5) Recognizing that a family is a collage of personalities and individuals who don’t have to be clones of each other.
Finally—realize that Jesus Christ was no stranger to the stress of family living. According to Matthew 13, at least four half-brothers were born into the family of Mary and Joseph, and in mentioning “sisters” which had to be at least two, the total number of children in that family was at least seven, including Jesus. And thus He understands the needs of families. There is a better answer than the one Simeon Stylitis practiced. Believe me.
Resource reading: Psalm 127.
