A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1
There’s a proverb that says, “you don’t fight fire with fire.” But what do you say when someone has just yelled at you angrily?
Martin is an auto insurance adjuster. After investigating a particular accident and determining that it was 100% the fault of one of the parties, he filed his report. A few days later, he received a nasty phone call from the driver he’d said was totally at fault. Let’s just say the man was not happy and he was very loud about it.
But Martin had just heard some great advice from a radio show. The host had suggested that listeners say the following when insulted—so Martin tried this: “That’s very interesting. No one has ever said that to me before. I’ll have to give it some thought.”[1] The caller was completely taken off guard and the situation was diffused.
The Bible teaches us that “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare” (Proverbs 15:1). Matching anger with anger only multiplies it. But gentle words are disarming. Martin’s words didn’t match the intensity of the angry man—he was calling for an argument with Martin, but he didn’t get it.
The Bible also talks about the difference between the hot-tempered person who starts fights and the cool-tempered person who stops them (Proverbs 15:18) and says that “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires” (James 1:20). God’s Spirit, who lives within the person who surrenders their life to Jesus, enables us to control our emotions like anger. If anger is an area of struggle for you, admit it and ask for God’s help today in becoming a cool-tempered
[1] Schlessinger, Laura, The Dr. Laura Show, Triumph Channel 111, SiriusXM, July 15, 2025.
