Love is patient and kind… It does not demand its own way. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Are you the type who says “I love you” out loud?
Jack and Brandon are twin brothers. They’re adults now but they’ve never stopped teasing and kidding each other—it’s actually how they show their love. They’ve probably never said, “Love you, bro,” out loud. When it comes to love, some of us use words, others show it with jokes, hugs, gifts or time spent together. Psychologists note that most people rarely doubt their own feelings of love—but many relationships fall apart because those feelings aren’t felt by the other person.[1]
The Bible describes love not just as a feeling, but as an action. It says, “Love is patient and kind … it doesn’t insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). This kind of love shows up in daily life: in how we listen, help, and care for people—even when it costs us something. Real love is seen, felt, and lived.
So how do we make sure our love is actually reaching the people we care about? To love someone well, we need to learn what makes them feel loved. We can start by asking this question: “Do you feel loved by me?” Try it with your spouse, your child or a close friend. You can also ask:
“When I help you, is it truly helpful?”
“What’s your favorite thing we do together?”
“Do I listen in a way that makes you feel heard?”
You might be surprised by their answers—love isn’t one-size-fits-all. We don’t need to get it perfect. But love deepens when we stop guessing and start listening. Check in with those closest to you today—and let your love be personal, practical and present.
[1] Gottman, John, and Nan Silver. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Harmony Books, 2015.
