A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. Proverbs 25:11 ESV
Not every thought that runs across our minds needs to come out our mouths.
A husband walks into the kitchen where his wife is stirring a pot of something on the stove. “Is that all we’re having for dinner?” he asks. Later, as he’s doing the dishes, she remarks, “If you did it this way, it would be a lot more efficient!” Neither comment was well received.
When Mark and Jill first married, they often felt the need to comment on everything. Every annoyance, every disagreement, and every opinion needed to be addressed. But as the years have gone by, Jill says, “What we’ve learned over time is that maturity isn’t saying everything you’re thinking. Maturity is having the wisdom to discern what is helpful, what is necessary, and what is better left unsaid.”
The Bible urges us to only let words out of our mouths that are “helpful for building others up according to their needs” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV). The right words at the right time are beautiful, scripture says. It puts it like this: “ A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Proverbs 25:11 ESV).
No relationship in life is without little irritations. But not every single irritation needs to be voiced. “This doesn’t mean we have to let everything slide,” Jill says, “but it DOES mean that we should resist the temptation to make comments that simply aren’t needed.”[1]Jill Savage (@jillsavage.author), "1.0 Response," Instagram, June 10, 2026, https://www.instagram.com/p/DZZ5WPRgQ-s/. You don’t have to wait until you’re “mature” to get a hold on your words. God wouldn’t ask us to speak kindly without helping us do it! We can all pray this prayer from the Bible’s Psalms: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth” (Psalm 141:3 ESV).
The next time you’re slightly irritated, maybe just don’t say it!
