For I recognize my own rebellion, it haunts me day and night. Psalm 51:3
A missionary couple were celebrating their anniversary when three young men burst into their hotel room with machine guns.
It was the beginning of an ordeal that would leave Gracia Burnham a widow and bring her face to face with herself. That day, Martin and Gracia Burnham were kidnapped by guerilla rebels in the southern Philippines. After over a year in captivity, Martin was killed in a rescue attempt that left Gracia wounded. Their story is told in Gracia’s book, In the Presence of Mine Enemies.
We may wonder how we’d react in such a crisis. Gracia is searingly honest about the inner self she became acquainted with: She wrote, “[I] realized that when everything is stripped away from you and you have nothing, you find out what you really are down deep inside. What I was starting to see was not pretty … . There was a Gracia I barely knew existed: fearful Gracia, selfish Gracia, bitter Gracia, angry-at-God Gracia. That wasn’t the only me, but it was a bigger part of me than I wanted to accept.”[1]
Gracia, and the rest of us, are in good company. The Bible’s song writer, David, admitted, “For I recognize my own rebellion. It haunts me day and night” (Psalm 51:3). We may think that our rebellion is hidden but it’s not hidden from God.
Thankfully, the return of a rebel is always celebrated by God. He wants to welcome all of us rebels. The Bible says, “For the Lord, our God, is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him” (2 Chronicles 30:9b).
We can be honest about ourselves with God. Is today the day you reach for Him?
[1] Burnham, Gracia. “Gracia Burnham Quotes (Author of in the Presence of My Enemies).” Goodreads, Goodreads, https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/117895.Gracia_Burnham.
