The Evolution of a Father

“And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters” (Genesis 5:22).

It’s quite amazing how our perception of dad changes over the years. I call it, “The Evolution of a Father.” At age 4, you are convinced that your daddy can do anything. At age 7 you say, “My daddy can beat up your daddy.” Age 9: “daddy doesn’t quite know everything.” At age 12, you find yourself grumbling, “My dad’s just plain old-fashioned; I wish he would let me do what other kids get to do.” By age 21, though, you are aware that dad isn’t quite as dumb as you used to think, yet you still find yourself thinking, “He’s not quite in touch with reality. Not on the same page with me.”

By age 25, you are amazed at how much your old dad has learned, and occasionally find yourself thinking, “You know, dad’s right about a few things. I should have listened to him—could have saved me some trouble.” By age 35, you are now a father, and think, “dad’s really okay after all!”

At age 45, you’re now beginning to understand your dad a whole lot more. You have teenagers who accuse you of not trusting them or being overly protective when you ask personal questions like, “Who are you going out with, and when can I expect you to be home?” You find yourself trying to answer those same questions that you threw at your dad 25 years ago, like, “Why can’t I do it? Everybody else gets to do it.” You also find yourself on the defensive, trying to justify yourself when you are told, “You don’t trust me, dad!” You find yourself saying about the same thing your dad said 25 years ago, mumbling, “Well, I do trust you son. I just don’t trust some of those people who would take advantage of you.”

By age 55, the child has become the parent; the parent has become the child. You’re the one who takes dad to the doctor and helps him pick up the groceries at the local market. You are now asking him if he’s taking his medicine or staying up too late at night.

By age 65, you get out the old photo album and get a frog in your throat looking at the pictures of you and your dad at the old fishing hole. You have a tear in your eye as you think, “Boy, I wish that I could talk things over with him just one more time.”

The evolution of a father, or is it our evolution as we gain wisdom and understanding with the passing of time? No father is perfect, but a dad is a very important person in the life of a youngster. He’s a role model, a teacher, a friend, and a defender. He’s all of this plus a great deal more.

“To become a father biologically,” says John Drescher, “requires little commitment or knowledge, but to be the father that God intends is one of the most rigorous and rewarding responsibilities of a man’s life. It involves the full spectrum of the emotions and spiritual dimensions of existence.”

While a dad doesn’t have to walk on water and leap over 50-story buildings in a single bound, he can’t have much influence in the lives of his children when he’s not there, and that’s part of the challenge which confronts dads today. With the pressure to keep his job, commute back and forth to the office, and to stay on top of the pile, dads often find their influence shrinking in direct proportion to the number of hours which require them to be away from home.

For those of you who have tough choices to make, which means more money or more time with your family, better think through the implications carefully. For all of you who can still say, “Dad, I really appreciate you. I can’t tell you how much you have meant to me, thank you,” better say it now. Tomorrow may well be too late.

Resource reading: Genesis 22:1-19.