My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NIV
Some of the most important moments in our lives happen in just a few seconds.
Jacklyn went on a date. On the way home she meant to text a friend about how uncomfortable she’d felt on the date. Her text read: “I need to go home and change before date #2—I am literally soaked in sweat.” Unfortunately, she sent the message to the man she had just been with. In that moment, she realized: there was no undo.[1]
We’ve all rushed to respond—to interrupt, to defend ourselves, or angrily hit “reply all” on an email. For that critical moment just before we respond, the Bible gives us wonderful advice: slow down. The Bible book of James encourages us to be “slow to speak,” not because our words don’t matter, but because they matter so much (James 1:19). A simple pause creates space between feeling and reaction. It gives wisdom a chance to catch up with emotions.
The Bible says that “A truly wise person uses few words” (Proverbs 17:27a) and Jesus practiced such restraint with His words. When questioned, accused, or provoked, He often showed His strength by holding back His words.
A pause allows you to ask, “What matters here?” or, “Is this the right moment?” Practically, a pause can be simple. Take a breath. Count to five. Say, “I need a moment to think” … and maybe allow discernment to catch up. Pausing won’t prevent every mistake. But it will prevent many regrets. And over time, it shapes us into people whose words heal more than they wound.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can say is nothing—at least not yet.
[1] Jaclyn Spinelli, quoted in “How to Bounce Back After Sending an Embarrassing Text,” Verywell Mind, May 16, 2025, https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-recover-from-embarrasing-text-11736573.
