Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Psalm 141:3 ESV
Realize it or not, you’re carrying a dangerous weapon around with you today.
Bruno and Miriam are a passionate couple. Every time they fight, they both end up saying things they regret. In their anger, accusations came out meaner and more vicious, and mistakes get exaggerated. Both Miriam and Bruno admit to sometimes using their words like knives with the intention of hurting each other. Later, even after apologies, the hurt of those words has continued to impact their relationship.
The Bible says, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences” (Proverbs 18:21). Do we realize the power our words hold? They can destroy relationships, wound those around us, and create great distance between us and others. But words also have the power to bring life by building up the people around us with sincere encouragement. Truth can be tenderly delivered. We can get help to learn to speak what’s at the bottom of our feelings. We can heal by speaking words of kindness and foster connection through vulnerability.
Bruno and Miriam were only able to change their relationship when they changed how they talked to each other. Each of them had to refuse to weaponize words, instead choosing vulnerability. “You’re never around” changed into “I miss spending time with you.” What a shift!
Understanding how you use your words is the first step toward change. When you’re angry with someone close to you, do vent your rage? Do you bury it, but punish them silently– or take a minute and a breath to be able to talk calmly?
Here’s a prayer for all of us from scripture: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3 ESV).
