The Quest for Real Love

“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame” (Song of Solomon 8:6, KJV).

Shortly before his death, John Paul Getty, once said to be the richest man in the world, said that he would gladly give all of his millions for the love of a good woman.  Had he first given away his millions, he would then have found out if he was loved for his money or for what he was–something he never really learned.  Sometimes people go through life searching for love, never quite finding it. Like the vision that is always on the horizon but never within their grasp, real love seems to elude them.

The ancient king of Israel, Solomon, could have related to what John Paul Getty said, because his life was an ongoing series of relationships, most of which never really satisfied.  Many of his marriages were merely political or social without the commitment of real love; but Solomon did understand what love is.

He is credited with having written one of the most unique of the sixty-six books of the Bible, the Song of Solomon, a poetic rendition about the quest for real love.  In this lovely and graphic story, you see both the picture of two lovers committed to each other and the larger image of God’s love for His people, Israel.

As he comes to the end of this beautiful love story, Solomon makes two requests of his lover:  “Place me like a seal over your heart,” he asks, and “like a seal on your arm” (Song of Solomon 8:6).  Your heart is personal and inward. Your arm is visible and public.  He wanted both personal intimacy and public commitment.

In the Third Reich, Jews were forced to wear the yellow armband with the Star of David, thereby identifying them as Jews. In Soviet prisons, prisoners were tattooed with their prison numbers on their knuckles for the entire world to see.

Solomon says that love has to be both personal and public so there is outward recognition of the inward affection you have for someone.  He then makes three interesting observations about love:  1) It is as strong as death.  2) It is like a raging fire, and 3) It cannot be bought for any amount of money.

First, he says, “Love is as strong as death” (8:6).  Frankly, I would have used another image, rather than that of death.  I would have said that love is as strong as a raging river, or greater than a majestic mountain, or stronger than a lion, but no, Solomon uses the image of cruel death which shows no favoritism and eventually claims us all.

Then he says, “It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame.  Many waters cannot quench love, rivers cannot wash it away” (vs. 6,7).  Yes, with this our hearts agree.  True love always wins out, says the poet.

Solomon adds a final thought: “If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned” (v. 7).  John Paul Getty would have agreed, as well as countless thousands of men and women who have said, “I’m never sure whether someone loves me for what I am or for my money.”

Money can never buy the smile of a child or the love of a husband or wife, or the peace that comes by knowing you are right with God.

Question: Are you still searching for love, or have you found it?  Love is a decision, a commitment to care.  It is both public and private, both intimate and observable by anyone who looks at your life.

An old aphorism says, “The best things in life are free!” and certainly love would fall into that category.   Love makes the world go round, say some, and while others disagree, there is one thing for sure:  It makes the ride worthwhile.

Resource reading: 1 Corinthians 13.