Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
Have you ever wanted to help a friend in pain but had no idea how?
Consider this: Your friend had a miscarriage. Another lost his job. You’re unsure whether to bring a meal or offer to grab coffee and talk or say nothing unless they bring it up. It’s hard to know what to do when someone close to you is navigating the unpredictable waves of grief.
When we don’t know what to say, we often spout sayings like, “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” or “everything happens for a reason.” We call these platitudes, and they ignore the deeper truth of God’s compassion for us. Spiritual encouragement is important but overly simplistic words can hinder genuine connection if they ignore your friends’ hard emotions and practical needs.
So, what should you do? First, you have to accept that their grief will bring you face to face with uncomfortable feelings. Your job isn’t to fix those feelings, but to leave space for them to process their feelings.
In the Bible, when a man named Job was grieving catastrophic loss, his friends came with spiritual language but no empathy. They tried to use religion to explain away the difficult situation. It’s ok to admit to grieving friends that we don’t know why this happened or how it will be resolved.
Instead of distancing yourself with religious language, be present. God meets us in our feelings, and we can meet our friends right where they are too. Scripture says, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).
You can ask your hurting friends what they need and offer practical support. Keep checking in. Loving people through grief is a journey– one that Jesus walks with us.
