We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like [Jesus]. Ephesians 4:14-15
When is it right to defend yourself?
You probably first learned to stick up for yourself on the playground, saying something like, “Hey, don’t push me!” Setting boundaries like this with others prevents bullying and creates safety.
However, you may have heard Jesus’s words, “Do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also” (Matthew 6:39). But it’s wrong to think that Jesus was against any kind of self-advocacy. While turning the other cheek teaches us about retaliation, humility, and forgiveness, it doesn’t mean we should tolerate abuse or neglect our own well-being.
In fact, standing up for ourselves is part of living healthy lives and fostering respectful relationships. Jesus and Paul, central figures in Christianity, exemplified this balance. Jesus defended himself against unjust accusations and physical harm when necessary (John 8:21-26, John 5:17-47), while Paul also asserted his rights and escaped dangerous situations when faced with persecution (Acts 9:30, 26).
Their courage reminds us to assert ourselves when necessary. When obeying God results in suffering, we can trust Him to work it together for good (Romans 8:28). But that doesn’t mean we never resist pointless and damaging abuse, especially in our close relationships!
The Bible book of Ephesians says, “We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like [Jesus]” (Ephesians 4:14-15). The Bible gives us a guide for confronting sin (Matthew 18:15-17), standing up for what’s right, and even when necessary, defending ourselves.
