Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2
A wise man once said, “There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.”[1]
God’s way of doing relationship isn’t what comes naturally to us, especially when there’s a disparity of power between people. God says, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love” (Ephesians 4:2). There’s nothing like the parent/child relationship for opportunities to live this out. Jin has an eleven-year-old son named Hai. Hai was supposed to study every afternoon but had been playing video games instead. When Jin found out, he lost his temper and yelled angrily for ten minutes. After calming down, he was acutely aware that he hadn’t handled the situation well. Hai had neglected his studies, but Jin doesn’t want his son to feel afraid of him.
Many parents in this situation would expect their child to apologize first. But both made mistakes and Jin is the parent. It’s important for Jin to model owning his mistakes and be quick to take the first step toward repairing his relationship with his son. Of course, Hai also needs to apologize for his wrong and make that right! But the power dynamic of the parent/child relationship gives Jin an incredible opportunity to lead the way in saying, “What you did was wrong, but I’m so sorry I shouted in my anger. I love you son and want the best for you.” Jin did just that, and set aside time to tutor his son that weekend. Afterward, they played a video game together.
How are you showing humility and gentleness, especially in relationships where you have more power?
[1] “Peace and Power Quotes.” Booker T. Washington. Jesuit Resource, www.xavier.edu/jesuitresource/online-resources/quote-archive1/peace-quotes. Accessed 30 Apr. 2024.
