But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” Luke 10:40
Have you ever volunteered to help—and ended up mad at everyone who wasn’t helping you?
It happens easily. You see something that needs to be done, so you step in. You take responsibility. But somewhere along the way, you start keeping score. “Why am I the only one doing this? Why doesn’t anyone else notice?”
There’s a story in the Bible about a woman named Martha who knew that feeling. When Jesus visited her home, Martha was preparing the meal while her sister Mary sat listening to Jesus. Eventually, Martha had enough. She said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” (Luke 10:40)
Martha wasn’t simply serving anymore. She was telling Jesus what Mary should be doing.
We can cross that line too.
Maybe you’re a parent with an adult child facing a big decision. You offer some advice. Then you send a helpful article. Later, you text with one more thought. Before long, you’re not just helping them make a decision. You’re trying to make sure they make the decision you think is best.
Sometimes our desire to help can quietly become a desire to control.
Jesus didn’t shame Martha for caring about the meal. He gently pointed out that she was worried while Mary had recognized what mattered most—being with Jesus.
Serving asks, “What is mine to do?” Control asks, “How can I make everyone else do what I think they should?”
There are things God has entrusted to you. Do them faithfully. But there are also people and outcomes you were never meant to manage. If helping has left you anxious, resentful or exhausted, ask God to show you the difference.
