“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect…” (1 Peter 3:7).
You will not read about the Lappidoth Principle in a physics book, though it does sound like you should find it listed in the index of one. Neither will you find a discussion of the Lappidoth Principle in a scientific journal. Frankly, I’m not sure that you will read about the Lappidoth Principle anywhere. Just what is the Lappidoth Principle? Before I define it, let me give you some background information on Lappidoth, which happens to be a man’s name.
Lappidoth lived about 1280 B.C. during the period of the Judges who ruled Israel. Actually I’m rather hard pressed to give you much of Lappidoth’s personal credentials, for his real claim to fame is the result of his marriage to a woman who did make the history books, whose name is Deborah. I know you are thinking, “Wasn’t Deborah the woman who was married to Barak?” While Deborah’s name is often associated with Barak, the Commander in Chief of the Israeli army, back in 1390 B.C., she was really married to a man whose name is Lappidoth.
The Lappidoth Principle finds its biblical framework in Judges 4:4, which says, “Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was judging Israel at that time.” That one line is all that Lappidoth rated, but in it we find the principle that may yet one day make his name a household word. Actually, the text reads, “Deborah, a woman, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was judging Israel at that time.”
Notice in this statement three facts about Deborah. First, she was a woman. She knew who she was. Unlike many today she wasn’t confronted with an identity crisis. Neither was she a misanthrope who secretly would have liked to be a man. From the basis of the text, she was comfortable with her sex in life. She was a woman and she made no apologies for it. Had she lived a few centuries later, she wouldn’t have gotten along very well with some of the rabbis who daily thanked God they were not a Gentile or a woman.
The second thing I would have you notice is that Deborah was a prophetess who judged Israel. This fact makes some men today uncomfortable. Those who like to keep their wives barefoot, pregnant, and at home. Her ministry as a prophetess wasn’t her own doing, as it had been given to her by God; but in addition to her work which took her outside the home, she was also the wife of Lappidoth and probably the mother of his children too. It seems from the order of Judges 4 that Deborah had been given her ministry by God before she met Lappidoth. Yet there appears to be no conflict between her home and her God‑given ministry.
God is the author of balance, yet so often in our human relations we have anything but balance. We flit from one extreme of thinking to the other, and it seems to me that some husbands today could profit from Lappidoth’s experience. Marriage should enhance individuality and personality‑‑not stultify it or force another into another’s mold. Jesus elevated the position of women to a new high as they played vital roles in the New Testament Church.
The Lappidoth principle‑‑you can define it as follows: “Happiness in marriage is directly proportional to the ability of a husband to allow his wife to be her own person!” There is still a lesson to be learned from a man who had the security it takes to let his wife be an individual and a wife at the same time. May God help us to learn to respect each other and learn a lesson from Lappidoth!
Resource reading: Judges 4.
