“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins” (James 4:17).
Dwight L. Moody was often criticized for his persuasive, arm-twisting tactics. As a man he was large and imposing. His personality was forceful and direct. Subsequently, there were times when he was criticized for overpowering people and getting them to make decisions against their will. When Moody was attacked by his critics, he would respond, “You don’t think much of my methods. I don’t either. But I like my way of doing it better than your way of not doing it.” He had a valid point. But there are ways you can motivate people which are effective; which don’t cause them to feel coerced into something or make them act out of fear or guilt. Indeed, there are! But first, focus on the importance of motivating each other.
What about a parent who has a teenager who is in a state of rebellion? Their goals are at cross purposes. What he wants is independence. What his parents want is to see mature, responsible behavior. The parent thinks he is rebellious, the teenager thinks they are old‑fashioned. So, how do you as a parent motivate your teen to move your way?
Almost everybody is interested in knowing how to motivate people. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a salesman, or even a farmer, you need to know how to motivate people to act one way or the other. So, how do you make all the difference in the world? How you do it is the difference.
There are three general ways to motivate people. One is to manipulate them, often getting them to do something against their will. Another is to motivate them through guilt, fear, and/or reward. The third way to move people, for lack of a better term, is allowing God to become the prime mover. They change in response to God’s prompting, not your nagging or pushing.
First, let’s look at manipulation. Many people consider any effort at persuasion as an attempt to box them in. They feel their freedom is about to go down the drain and they resent any attempt by anyone—be it a wife, a mother, an employer, or a teacher—an infringement on their personal freedom. Confronted by such a challenge, we often begin to scheme or gently apply pressure in one way or the other to get a person to change. It is properly described as manipulation—getting a person to do the right thing the wrong way.
Whenever you manipulate someone—whether it is your mate, your teenager, or your next-door neighbor—it just isn’t going to last. I have, on occasion, seen parents who convinced their kids to enroll in a course of study when their kids didn’t want to major in that field and were quite unsuited to the task. It did not work. They flunked out or were thrown out, and everybody lost.
An old aphorism says, “A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” So, rule out manipulation as a valid means of getting someone to change his mind. One of the techniques of cult groups is manipulation, taking reason, putting it aside, so the individual doesn’t think or consider the implications of what has been said. They have pat, sterile answers that are not subject to question. To doubt them is to doubt God.
A cartoon shows a crusader standing on a pagan’s neck, his sword at the man’s head. Looking up the pagan says, “Tell me more about your new religion; I’m terribly interested.” Right. Notice that Jesus never manipulated individuals to do the right thing. He motivated them through His example, confronting them with the consequences of their failure. And His principles become powerful guidelines for us to follow today. Think about it. The important thing is for the Holy Spirit to work with you, moving them God’s way.
Resource reading: John 8:1-11.
