When You Love Someone Who Struggles with Addiction

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

What do you do when loving someone feels like watching them drown—no matter how hard you try to save them?

Fernando watched his wife battle a drug addiction for years. Trying to help her often meant he felt like he was drowning right along beside her. He prayed, begged, and pleaded, but nothing seemed to change. Loving someone with an addiction is exhausting. Addiction, after all, is often called “the only prison where the locks are on the inside.” You see your loved one’s potential, but the addiction keeps pulling them down. You want to help, but you simply can’t help them help themselves.

Here’s one of the hardest truths we have to face in life: you can’t fix someone. You can’t force them to stop drinking, using drugs, or making destructive choices. What you can do is love them with the kind of love that’s both compassionate and wise—the love God shows us.

First, we can love with boundaries. Loving someone doesn’t mean enabling them. The Bible reminds us that each person must carry their own load (Galatians 6:5). You’re not called to take responsibility for someone else’s choices.

Second, we can love with prayer. We can’t change the heart of another, but God can. In scripture Jesus tells us to pray and never give up (Luke 18:1).

Finally, love them with hope. Addiction doesn’t get the last word—God does. Scripture promises that “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). God specializes in redemption and restoration.

Loving someone with an addiction takes strength and surrender—strength to set boundaries and surrender to trust God with what you can’t control. If you’re walking this road today, don’t walk it alone. Pray and reach out for support.