Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesian 4:15

 

Were you raised to believe that it’s impolite to say no. This can put you in some incredibly uncomfortable situations!

 

In some cultures, a guest is offered tea when it’s time to leave. However, visitors unfamiliar with this subtle social cue can feel compelled to stay, having cup after cup of tea, not recognizing the hint!

 

There’s nothing wrong with having different cultural practices and personal preferences regarding how we communicate. But it is important for every person to know and embrace their own power to make decisions, which sometimes means saying no. Jesus Himself demonstrated this aspect of decision-making. While He was open to discussion and showed willingness to reconsider His stance based on those discussions (Matthew 15:22-28, John 2:1-11), there were occasions when He confidently said “no.” Once He refused to provide a sign to those who had already witnessed numerous miracles yet continued to doubt Him (John 6:26-27). Jesus exemplified the importance of setting boundaries and standing firm in certain situations.

 

There’s no formula or rule for when to say no. God wants us to be comfortable expressing our needs confidently. Here’s how we do it:  The Bible reminds us to “Let [our] conversation be gracious,” (Colossians 4:6) Our honesty shouldn’t be too blunt without consideration or gentleness–a wise tongue brings healing (Proverbs 12:18). But we are to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

 

Where in your life do you need to say no? Are you overcommitted? In a friendship that isn’t healthy or allowing someone to treat you in a wrong way? When we need to, let’s graciously, gently, in truthful love, say no.