Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33

 

Soulmates. If you’re married, you may think you missed yours. If you’re not married, you may wonder if you’ll ever find one!

Soulmates are the stuff of rom-coms and pop songs. In her song, “Lover,” Taylor Swift sings about her “magnetic force of a man” who has a “dazzling haze” about him. Then she asks, “Can we ever be this close forever and ever?”

Probably not, psychologists say. The numbers aren’t good for relationships where the expectation is that each will be the other’s soulmate–that person who is “easy to love, someone who simply makes you feel happy.” Those who followed the soulmate model were twice as likely to divorce. One psychologist explains, “Soulmate-ism conveys an expectation of heavenly connection that makes earthbound relationships more difficult.”[1]

We have that expectation of heavenly connection because we were made for it. But we don’t get it from another person. God says this is the way to find the soul fulfilling, eternal connection we crave: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33). He wants to meet your unending need for love as only He can. Only He has sacrificed everything for your good.

God turns our idea of love around and asks us to consider what we can give, rather than what we can get. If you’re going to marry, “Get married so you can have someone to serve,” one marriage writer puts it![2] Scripture says, “…serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13). Your soulmate is the person right next to you now, who you can serve.

[1] Wilcox, Brad. “Don’t Buy the Soulmate Myth.” Wsj.com, 9 Feb. 2024, www.wsj.com/lifestyle/relationships/dont-buy-the-soulmate-myth-563d4a6c.

[2] Thomas, Gary. “A Lifelong Love.” Mission Hills Church, February 10, 2024. Mission Viejo, CA. Seminar.