Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

 

Are you enjoying your ice cream? How was school today? Did you have fun at the park? Research psychologists say stop asking your kids questions like these.

Questions like these emphasize a person’s feelings in the moment. Reality tells us that in many moments of life, the true answer is: not great. Researcher Yulia Chentsova Dutton who studies emotional regulation among young people in the U.S., East Africa, West Africa and Russia says, “We are basically telling [kids] that this deeply imperfect signal [of emotion] is always valid, is always important to track…and then use it to guide your behavior.” [1] Experts advise, “Instead of constantly asking kids to describe how they feel in the moment, adults should be telling kids how imperfect and unreliable their emotions can be.”[2]

Our emotions matter to God. He has feelings and we’re created like Him. God tells us to bring all of our feelings right to Him. Scripture says, “Pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalms 62:8b). But He also instructs us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). Our “understanding” in our momentary emotions isn’t a firm foundation from which to make decisions.

Unlike God’s perfect, holy feelings, ours aren’t truth indicators. In all of our feelings, we need to go back to God’s true words in Scripture. God says, no matter how you’re feeling, “I will help you. I will strengthen you. I will hold you up with my hand. I will never leave you. I will supply all of your needs from my glorious riches. (Isaiah 41:10, Deuteronomy 31:8, Philippians 4:19).

Let’s speak these truths to our kids…and ourselves.

[1] Shrier, Abigail. “Stop Constantly Asking Kids How They Feel.” www.Wsj.Com, Wall Street Journal, 9 Mar. 2024, www.wsj.com/health/wellness/stop-constantly-asking-your-kids-how-they-feel-d36cf32e.

[2] Ibid.