And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

 

Ever said something in the heat of the moment that you deeply regretted?

Carlos had just had the worst fight ever with his wife. He called a trusted friend to ask for advice, saying, “I can’t believe the hurtful things I said. I wish I could take them back! What can I do?”

All of us have been there. But an angry outburst is like toothpaste squeezed out of the tube—once out, there’s no taking it back. Perhaps our words were true, but were needlessly cruel. It’s possible to restore a relationship hurt by harsh words, but only if you can learn to do this: tame your tongue when you’re feeling mad!

God wants us to understand just how dangerous our anger can be, warning us, “And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:27-27).

When you feel anger welling up, you’ve got a split second to respond by moment breathing deeply, stepping away to take back control of your body and emotions, and asking God’s Spirit to help you. Remember, you can agree to return to talk at another time.

If you’re on the receiving end of angry speech, you don’t have to continue the conversation at that moment. “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people,” the Proverbs advise (Proverbs 22:24). There is no value in being abused by angry speech or letting someone else’s anger compel you to engage in a doomed conversation.

Difficult conversations should be about listening, explaining, connecting, and problem-solving. If asked, God’s Holy Spirit will teach you self-control as you practice composure, and care with your words.